After couple’s therapy there may be a point in the relationship where you will feel the “training wheels” come off. This is such a great feeling. You did the hard work and should be proud of your accomplishments together. Couples counseling is not easy by any means. Below are 6 pointers that can help maintain those gains or serve as indicators of a flourishing relationship. 

Sometimes relationships need a little tune up after you’ve finished marriage counseling and we are still here for you! Give us a call at 951.430.3011 to schedule a check-in session in-person in Riverside, CA or online in Temecula, CA.

Relationship Check-ins

It is best to check-in daily in the mornings or evenings to see how you and your partner are doing despite life’s chaos. It’s easy to feel like background noise in your partner’s life when you’re not checking in. Use technology to your advantage. Send some short video recordings to check-in if you can’t do this in-person. 

Read our blog How to Have a Relationship Check-In With Your Partner if you need help doing this!

Prioritizing the relationship

This is one of the first things to go when life happens to us.

We may have set a date or a movie and cuddle day with our partner, but then work happens and we end up staying later at work even though we really didn’t have to. Make sure to ask yourself before committing to other things in your life if this task will be an investment to the relationship or a harmful experience for the relationship. If you do have to commit to something that interferes with time with your partner make sure to give your partner a heads up as soon as you can and commit to re-scheduling (if possible) the time with your partner.

Attention

We all like to receive attention from our partner! But, the way we prefer it may be different than how our partner expresses it. Make sure to let your partner know that you see them trying and appreciate their efforts. Also, let them know what you really appreciate more that day/week/month that really spoke to how you prefer receiving attention (i.e., holding hands at dinner, cuddling on the couch, your partner doing dishes that are agonizing for you to do on your own).

Bonding

It may be worthwhile for you and your partner to invest in activities that promote weekly bonding and sparks some good conversation or laughs. This could include;

• reading the same book on your own and then talking about it at dinner

• watching the same Netflix series together

• listening to the same podcast episode on your way to work then texting each other about it

• completing a large puzzle together that you know will take a long while to complete

• phone games you both can engage in

These activities can be refreshing for you and your partner to enjoy each other in a different way.

If you need more help coming up with things to do together then read our blog 30 Date Night Ideas.

Speak to the positives

You and your partner have probably experienced a lot together at this point. It’s easy for many of us humans to point out the negatives in an attempt to correct behaviors. But, this can make our partner feel like they are not doing many things right. Let's be mindful to let our partner know all the good stuff they do. It doesn’t have to be monumental for us to give some positive feedback. For example, it can be helping with laundry or even texting you a heart emoji when they are super busy at work.

Alone time

It can feel really amazing when you have a shared goal of an annual getaway for just you and your partner. It is something to work towards and plan together as a team. A getaway doesn’t have to be uber expensive. It can include a few days of solitude camping in the forest or even spa day together and trying different treatments together.