If you are searching the topic of how to recognize abuse you may have stumbled on this because there are some signals and red flags being raised in your relationship or with someone you know and care about. Given my experience, education, and knowledge through working in the field of domestic abuse and intimate partner violence

there are often signs and times people in romantic relationships have overlooked and/or not taken things as they are and not seen they were in an abusive relationship.

If you need help identifying the signs of abuse in your relationship, contact us today! We offer in-person couples counseling and solo relationship counseling in Murrieta, CA as well as Riverside, CA. We also provide online couples counseling to all residents of California.

It is difficult to say that this person I love and care so much for may be toxic and we may be unintentionally abusive to one another.

Most of the times couples have been involved in unhealthy toxic relationships without it being full fledged abuse. However, if we don’t get help or don’t recognize the signs the more often people stay in relationships that become very abusive and concerned for safety of one another and all parties involved.  

Some of us may have seen physical abuse within our homes and experienced the many traumas that abuse can have on lives and recognize the impact that has had on our relationships as we develop our own romantic relationships.

Others may have deemed the arguments we saw and/or heard as “normal” ways to handle conflict.

We now know that what we thought was normal should not have been considered as such but that is how most of us saw relationships and therefore when we get into romantic relationships and have conflicts we rely on those behaviors and patterns that we saw our parents and role models use. 

When we talk about recognizing abuse we must talk about the 7 main foundations to which we see in relationships that can be deemed toxic and be abusive or lead to abusive behavior.

We know that the cycle of abuse and that power and control are at the heart of relationships we deem to be domestic abuse and intimate partner relationships. Many think abuse has to be physical.

Although physical abuse is one of the main types there are 6 others to also take into consideration and can be just as harmful to an individual as physical abuse. The 7 types of abuse categories are:

1. Verbal

2. Physical

3. Emotional (psychological & mental)

4. Sexual

5. Technological

6. Financial

7. Cultural / Religious / Sociological

Recognizing and discussing each type and category of abuse is key to being able to recognize if abuse is present in a relationship. Today we’ll be discussing Verbal Abuse and you can check back each week for the next type.

Verbal abuse is one of the foundations of types of abuse in IPV that is often overlooked or not taken seriously and brushed off. Ex. “Doesn’t every couple yell when they are mad?” “They just yell when they are passionate about something.” We just call each other names when we are mad we don’t mean it.” However, it should be one of the categories that we take the most serious. The reason being that if we see couples using verbal abuse the more likely for the abuse to escalate to the other types of abuse the longer we are in these relationships.

Verbal abuse can be any of the following: yelling, cursing, calling someone names, putting someone down, insulting, criticizing, silent treatment, overtalking, making threats, constantly correcting, blaming, making fun of each other in front of others to attack, judging and talking to someone in a relationship as if they are less than or not smart enough.

It can be hard to recognize the signs of abuse and then take steps to actively stop it especially when it’s with someone you love. You are not alone and we are here for you! We help couples every day deal with situations just like yours. Contact us today or click the button below to schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation with our Intake Coordinator.

Have questions about couples counseling? Visit our FAQs page to find out more. We offer online couples counseling in California and in-person marriage counseling services in Riverside, CA and in-person marriage therapy in Murrieta, CA!! It’s so important for you to find the right marriage counselor for you. Learn more about what’s unique about our couples therapists here.

THERAPIST SPOTLIGHT

Lindsey Ritter-Ingorvaia, AMFT, APCC

Lindsey specializes in helping LGBTQIA+ couples by providing couples with honesty, trust, and compassion as well as understanding that there are parts of your identity and experience that don’t fit heteronormative roles or expectations.

Lindsey offers in-person couples counseling and marriage therapy in Murrieta, CA and online couples counseling in California.

If you’d like to book a session with Lindsey you can click the button below or contact us here!