“I hate when you do that, can you please stop?” “I wish you weren’t on your phone all the time.” “Why don’t you listen to me when I’m talking?”

Have you heard yourself or your partner saying things like this? Does it feel like every time you ask your partner for change it starts a big argument? You both probably feel super frustrated because all you want is to change something but you can’t stop fighting when you discuss it, right?

Watch JR Allen’s video below to learn more about the 6 steps you can use when asking for what you want from your partner, not for what you don’t want.

Here are 6 steps to get you started in asking for what you want and not for what you don’t want.

1. Separate your partner from what he/she wants

2. Share what’s working well in the conversation

3. Through observation; state your dislikes

4. Ask for what you want with an open approach

5. Learn through your partner’s perspective

6. Praise when your wants are being shown

If you’re interested in working with JR or want to learn more about the services we offer, visit our FAQs page to find out more or schedule a free consultation at the button below!

We are now offering online couples counseling in California and in-person marriage counseling services in Riverside, CA and in-person marriage therapy in Murrieta, CA!! It’s so important for you to find the right marriage counselor for you. Learn more about what’s unique about our couples therapists here.