It’s that time of the year again: holidays. You may be facing challenges because your partner can’t join you during the holiday celebration.

Maybe it’s because of their work schedule, family conflicts, or they just don’t want to join the festivities because of burnout. Whatever the reason, the following tips from our skilled couples therapist Gloria can be extremely helpful to alleviate a bit of loneliness, incorporate your partner even when you’re not in the same place, and get into the holiday spirit.

If your partner is available online or over the phone:

• Consider enjoying the same holiday foods. This could be fun to just enjoy the meal together or play professional food taster (in a playful consenting way)

• Share recipes and have a cook-off or baking challenge

• Gingerbread houses are hard to put together, but on video this can be extra fun sharing the fails & success with your partner

• If gifts are involved, make sure to have your partner ready on video chat so they can partake from afar.

If your partner is not available in the moment during the holiday:

• Take lots of photos! I am sure your partner will appreciate the holiday glow on everyone’s face when viewing the pictures. 

• Send your partner their favorite holidays treats

• Send a holiday love letter to them

Dealing with loneliness:

• Surround yourself with people who love and support you. Holiday cookie exchanges are just one of many examples to make the most of your holiday.

• Take care of yourself. Sometimes guilt sets in when our partners cannot join the fun. Yes, this is not the best situation, but I am 99% sure they would still want you to enjoy yourself. #treatyourself to some hot cocoa and gingerbread.

Expand the idea of holiday:

• Holidays do not have to always be on one day. It may be useful to list your absolute favorite holiday items to accomplish during the month of the holiday. Remember to be realistic with this list. This will provide flexibility and alleviate some pressure off of your partner and yourself. 

• If possible, ask your partner what their favorite holiday activity that they absolutely want to accomplish before they leave and accomplish this task

Need more advice for how to handle common challenges couples face during the holidays?

Check out our tips for the 7 most common problems couples face during the holidays.

We know that even advice from the best marriage counseling blogs can only take you so far. If you’ve gotten all you can from your online searches for “relationship advice” and want to get some personalized help, make the investment in your relationship and sign up for couples counseling!