Cultivating Connection: Navigating Relational Trauma through Marriage Counseling in Temecula, CA

You just can’t seem to get past the trauma that happened to your relationship. Maybe something threatened the relationship itself, maybe there was a significant betrayal, or maybe one or both of you brought a history of trauma with you into your relationship. However it got there, you can’t seem to get away from it. You find yourself wondering if you can ever be healed, wishing you could just go back to before the traumatic event ruined everything. You try to leave it in the past, but when things get stressful (or really intimate) there it is again!

We know how hard it can be to heal from traumas in relationships, and we are here to help!

Last week we talked about Unraveling Complex Trauma in Relationships and the week before that we covered Acute Trauma and how to live your life after traumatic events!

I'm going to offer another layer of nuance to this whole, "trauma" thing. The focus is on "Relational trauma" and before defining it I do want to acknowledge that there is some overlap here with complex trauma in terms of the interpersonal nature of it. They both tend to rest on the backs of relationships and how strained and complicated they can get. The differences are the severity of the symptoms and the way that relational trauma seems to be associated with personality types and/or attachment styles rather than diagnoses in the official diagnostic manuals.

If you’re ready to get help from an expert, contact us today! We can help you with in-person marriage counseling in Temecula, CA and individual therapy in Riverside, CA. We also offer virtual counseling to any resident in California.

Severity Matters in Relational Trauma: Marriage Counseling in Temecula Ca

Relational traumas are most likely to be experienced with parents or adult caregivers for us as we are young children and in key stages of personal development, especially the stages in which we associate people and behaviors with our personal safety. If we are looking at this from an "attachment" perspective, we could reasonably suppose that young children who experience abandonment or very “hands off” or emotionally distant styles of parental interaction may leave them feeling like they do not have what they need to feel emotionally and/or physically "safe", and therefore could lean toward an anxious attachment style. The opposite side of the spectrum here leaves young children who have experienced a very enmeshed, suffocating or authoritarian regime style of parenting could then push them to adopt an attachment style that leans avoidant.

Relational traumas can also happen when there is abuse or violence in the relationship or when there has been a significant betrayal. You may experience as traumatic anything that threatens the life (or safety) of the relationship or of you or your partner.

Navigating the Depths: Marriage Therapy in Temecula CA for Relational Trauma

As a therapist/clinician who works with relationships and the systems in which they live, I see many clients that are dealing with and suffering from these "under the radar" types of relational traumas. Because of their interpersonal nature combined with their relatively early (and stealthy) impact, clients often require both education, customized attention and support and the built-in safety of a therapist to explore these things. The power and value of this work is amplified when clients realize that exploring this about themselves and their partners together reveal a relationship dynamic that is unique to them. Understanding this dynamic that is impacted by the partners' individual relational traumas and attachment styles is crucial to finding solutions to manage a healthy relationship and communicate effectively.

A Beacon of Hope in Marriage Counseling Temecula CA

In the realm of relationships, where the ghosts of traumas may linger, seeking professional help becomes a beacon of hope. Marriage counseling in Temecula, CA, offers a dedicated space to unravel these complexities. Through targeted sessions, couples can gain insight into their unique dynamic shaped by individual relational traumas. An experienced professional can provide the necessary education, tailored attention, and a safe environment for exploration. Couples therapy becomes the bridge to effective communication, understanding, and ultimately, the cultivation of a healthy, resilient relationship. So, whether you’re navigating the stormy seas of relational trauma or simply seeking a stronger connection, professional guidance can illuminate the path forward.

At Inland Empire Couples Counseling we offer the best marriage counseling we can! Our couples therapists are trained in helping couples heal from infidelity, substance use in relationships, childhood trauma, communication skills, as well as providing the LGBTQIA+ community with pride counseling. We have online couples counseling in California. We have couples therapy in Riverside, CA. We also have marriage counseling in Murrieta CA or the Temecula Valley. Please reach out for help by clicking the button below to schedule a free 15 minute consultation with our Intake Coordinator.

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