How To Self Soothe While Taking A Break: Relationship Skills
Consult A Therapist Series
Have things ever gotten so intense in a conversation with your partner that you just need to step away? Congratulations! You're implementing great relationship skills! Sometimes the best thing you can do in an argument with your partner is take a break to allow you both to cool down.
In this video marriage therapists Rebecca Williams, LMFT and Stephanie Gross, AMFT discuss how to self-soothe while taking a break from arguing with your partner. Sometimes it's not enough to just take a break, you have to make sure that what you're doing during that break is helping you to calm. If you're stewing on the argument or replaying it in your head, you're not getting the most benefit from the break!
How to self soothe:
When taking a break, focus on things that make you feel good
R.A.I.N.
Recognize what’s going on with me
Allow the experience to be there as it is. Don’t push the emotions away
Investigate with kindness. Be kind to yourself as you investigate your emotions
Not identifying with the experience. Don’t allow the current experience to allow you to think of yourself in a negative way
Was watching this video a homework assignment from your therapist?
Put this skill into practice before your next session. We’ll want to know how it went. If you had great success, we’ll celebrate with you. If implementation was rough, we can help you figure out what went wrong and get you back on track.
