In this post we’re exploring myths about infidelity. Many of these myths stem from black-and-white thinking. We often like the certainty that this kind of thinking gives us. This is good and that’s bad. It’s cut and dried. The problem is that humans and human relationships are messy and complex. When we ignore this fact, we can get stuck feeling we have few options and being unable to make sense of our lives. Black and white, good or bad, this or that doesn’t work when we’re talking about marriages and people. Let’s look at some of those myths now.

I’ve got some news for you: Not all problems in your marriage can be solved. Some just don’t have solutions. These may come from differences in personality traits, religion, political opinions, cleanliness preferences, and the like. No matter how much you talk about these things or fight about which way is right, neither of you is likely to change or to change your partner.

I’ve got some news for you: Not all problems in your marriage can be solved. Some can be worked through using compromise, and some just don’t have solutions. These may come from differences in personality traits, religion, political opinions, cleanliness preferences, and the like. No matter how much you talk about these things or fight about which way is right, neither of you is likely to change or to change your partner.

You have conflict with your spouse. Okay, that happens. I'm here to help you know how to you bring up marriage problems in a way that gets you listened to and not dismissed. You may have very good points or legitimate concerns but the way you talk about them with your partner sets you up to not be heard or to be easily dismissed.

Problems have been building in your marriage for a while. You try talking about it and end up fighting. You try again and end up fighting. Maybe you try to change and you try to ask for change, and you’re both still fighting and miserable. So, you gather up your courage and decide to try marriage counseling. You might hope that if you can just get in there for one session the therapist is going to convince your spouse that you have been right all along and amazing changes happen overnight. I hate to be the one to break it to you, but that’s not how these things work. You need a relationship checkup.

The experience of an individual going through a crisis of faith can send ripples through the family and friend groups connected to that person. People might be shocked to hear someone lost their faith or is choosing to step away from their faith tradition. The person may make an open declaration and want to explain their story, or they may quietly step back and leave others guessing.

Let me set the scene for you:

I’ve got a couple* sitting on my couch. I like each one of them very much. I’ve spent a few sessions getting to know them and their relationship. They’ve told me about their complaints, their dissatisfaction, their deep disappointment that their partner has changed or isn’t the person they thought they married. One of them is considering divorce. The other doesn’t want divorce but also doesn’t want to keep going on with these fights and this distance between them.